Talking about my own domestic abuse survival story is something I do all the time. If speaking out about my experiences can help just one person then it’s worth it.
I believed that writing about my journey was the next logical step. However, I found the act of revisiting some of the horrific moments of physical abuse I experienced too much to handle.
It turns out that I am not ready mentally, physically, or emotionally to write my story and have decided to abandon the book. I’ll continue to talk about it, but I realised quickly that writing it all down wasn’t necessary for me. Instead, I vowed to support fellow authors who have shared their incredible stories in a bid to help other victims.
Today’s guest is one such lady.
About the author
Caron Kipping understands what it is like to ‘walk on eggshells’, to feel trapped in an abusive marriage, to be locked in conflict with a controlling ex. She lost everything when she left her abuser – she was homeless, she’d lost her child, she was in debt and emotionally broken.
Something had to change. After learning to let go and starting to rebuild her life, she realised her experience could help others. She trained as one of the first Independent Domestic Violence Advocated (IDVAs) in the UK and has worked in various roles in the domestic abuse sector supporting hundreds of women over the past 14 years. She is also a recognised authority being invited to speak on TV and at events etc.
Caron now combines this with her private work supporting clients all over the UK as a Divorce Coach specialising in abusive relationships. She is happily re-married with 3 grown-up children, living in leafy Buckinghamshire.
Tell us a little about yourself. (How did you get started writing? What do you do when you’re not writing?)
I am a survivor of domestic abuse, have worked in the domestic abuse sector for 14 years and now work privately as a Divorce Coach specialising in abusive relationships.
I train professionals on behalf of The Dash Charity I work for to help people understand the amazing work they do and I am passionate about helping people understand this difficult topic.
I have always loved writing and writing ‘from the heart’ and can also be quite opinionated!
Is this your first book? How many books have you written prior (if any?)
It is my first book
What genre is it, and what is it about?
It’s a self-help book ‘Recognition to Recovery – How to leave your abusive ex behind you for good!’
It helps people recognise abuse, understand their options if they want to end their relationship and gives them practical strategies to help them recover in the short and longer term. It’s written in simple language, with real-life examples and is inspirational so people can have the confidence to change their situation.
For friends and family and professionals it will help them understand why women don’t just leave, why they make certain decisions (or don’t) and why it is a long journey to recovery.
What or who inspired you to write this book?
I wanted my story to inspire others – to let them know that yes, it is difficult, but it can be done and you CAN go on to live a happy life afterwards. Domestic abuse doesn’t have to define you!
I know all the help that is available for people but it became clear that they didn’t know until they were in a crisis – I wanted this book to help people before that happened or to be a go-to guide that they could dip in and out of afterwards to help them stay strong. There are lots of personal stories in similar books but I wanted this to have actual, practical strategies that people could use to help them feel more in control, less stressed and more positive about their future.
What writing advice do you have for other aspiring authors?
Map it out! I had so much knowledge it was hard to work out what to put in and how to organise it, so there was a lot of editing! I wish I had spent more time doing this in the beginning, it would have saved me time in the long run.
Do it – you will be proud of it in the end.
Get people to proof read it several times.
Try to make it a bit different to other similar books.
What do you enjoy most about writing and why?
Telling a story, making it real and honest and engaging with the reader.
List three interesting facts about yourself
- I still classify myself as a Northerner even though I have lived ‘down South’ for nearly 40 years!
- I used to play the drums
- I used to be a midwife for 20 years
What is your least favourite part of the publishing/writing process?
Waiting to see the finished result. I am impatient and I kept tweaking it so was glad when I was finally happy with it.
What can readers who enjoy your book do to help make it successful?
Share it on your social media – you never know who might need to read this! It could be a friend or a friend of a friend.
Add a review to Amazon books
Tell your colleagues about it – I want it to get into organisations that work with people experiencing domestic abuse – charities, solicitors, and voluntary organisations and youth groups
Buy a copy for someone who might benefit from reading it
If you have any media contacts tell them about it!
What is your next project?
That’s top secret at the mo, but it will be building on the book!
Connect with Caron
Website – https://www.caronkippingcoaching.com
LinkedIn – https://www.linkedin.com/caronkipping
Instagram – https://www.instagram.com/caronkippingcoaching
This book is packed full of bite-size strategies, information and guidance for anyone who thinks they are in or have been in an abusive/controlling relationship.
If you need step by step help to put your abusive ex behind you for good, this is your go-to guide! Recognition to Recovery does exactly what it says – it helps you recognise abuse, understand your options and gives you simple strategies that really work and make recovery possible.
With real-life examples you will see that domestic abuse shapes you but it doesn’t have to define you. Understand it, know how to protect yourself from it and move on to the life you deserve, because life is too short to be unhappy.
”Caron’s 14 years working in the domestic abuse field as well as surviving domestic abuse herself provides an exceptional insight into lived experience. This book will support you, guide you and provide you with hope!” – Delia Donovan, CEO DV New South Wales.
Caron is a survivor of coercive control and has spent the last 14 years working in the domestic abuse sector. Now also a highly respected Divorce Coach, Caron has a wealth of expertise and knowledge. Caron says ‘Don’t make the same mistakes I made – educate, empower and motivate yourself – there is no magic wand, YOU are the magic wand!’